Happy Birthday Dad!

I love you Pete! Happy birthday! I hope you are having a great day. Love bear.

P.S. I'll try to update this soon with my ever growing knowledge. Finals week, gets the best of all of us.

Things they don't teach you in school

I've been in school for as long as I can remember. It was in these places of learning I was taught to read and write. The teachers instructed me to do math, learn all 50 capitals, and proper uses of the English language. I also learned to share, and how to find x.

But in my years of learning, I've also learned that finding 'x' won't help me if I have to change a tire. Conjugating Spanish verbs into the correct tense won't help me if I'm in Germany. And school can never teach you how to lose someone.

I am grateful to say that all of my loved ones are safe, but that is not that case for Tony Pauls' family. If you haven't heard Tony was a student at the University of Illinois who died this past weekend after being hit buy a drunk driver while he was walking home. It is a tragedy that has affected my friends around me who knew him.

This incident only makes me that more grateful to have my family alive and well. I've lost grandparents and other relatives, but I can't remember a time when it came as a shock like this. The only comparison I can make is to the loss of three Vernon Hills High School students this past year. That being said I was never close to any of them.

I never loved them like their friends did. Yes, their passings made me sad for the time. I thought of what their lives could be, and how tragic it was to lose them so young.

For some of my friends this is the first time they've lost someone. It is never to lose someone, but to have it happen so suddenly to someone so young.

Unfortunately even though I've gone through this, I can only offer to support to those who are grieving. They don't teach you how to move on after your world has been torn apart. Nobody tells you how to help those who need you. And even though people tell you to cherish the people in your life, we often take them for granted.

I know I am guilty of neglecting my family and friends, and I am lucky enough to have them in my life. My thoughts are with the Pauls family during this rough time they are going through.

I hope this serves as a reminder to everyone:

Never take anyone for granted. And NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE!

love, bear

Her Campus

So I'm going to a meeting tonight with my roommate Kenzie. It's for an online website geared at high school and college age girls. Hopefully it's something I can be good at. If so you'll see some posts linking you to my work :) Check it out

love, bear

Rule book

I don't have a set list of rules to surviving life, but if I did I would definitely add never EVER say 'it can't get much worse than this.' I really didn't think that today could get much worse.

I over slept for a class.

I'm still in an ongoing fight with a 'friend'.

And work was horrible. (As I got home at 1 in the morning bad; we lock our doors at 10.)

Things just kept seeming like they could only get worse. I can't begin to think of how many times I just wanted to cry. Instead I just had to laugh. I don't know how many uncontrollable laughing fits I had, but what can you do. I don't think Chipotle would appreciate it if I told their customers they should listen when I talk to them, get off their cell phones, or the amount of sour cream they are about to consume is going to end up in giving them a heart attack before they reach 30.

Laugh often: that should be another rule. You gotta laugh, because sometimes life sucks and everything that can go wrong will.

I called my mom ready to pack my bags and head home this weekend. I was just so mad at everything, but a lot of it had to do with myself. I can tell I've changed since high school. I just feel like I'm not as strong as I used to be. Nobody would dare tell me what to do in high school, but now I just go with the flow. I just haven't been myself for a while, and I'm just beginning to notice.

The truth was when I went to call my mom I was about to tell her I needed to go home this weekend. Then she said the magical word that only a parent could come up with: Will this really matter in twenty years?

She was right, but I wasn't about to admit it just yet. I had to say something cleaver.

"Well, maybe in 20 years my daughter will come to me with the same problem, and then I can give her some good advice."

We both got a good laugh out of that.

I think what I really need to do is do a little soul searching, and hopefully get my swag back.

I need to remember to trust myself. I never had that problem before, and I'm beginning do that again. Today, as I said earlier, was a horrible day at work. And I've been miserable there for a while, but tonight really put it in perspective: Being uphappy is not worth $8 an hour.

I had regrets about quitting, but now I'm realizing I did the right thing. I'll figure things out. I've gotten myself this far haven't I? I mean with help, but if I'm lucky I will always have a great family and friends to help me along the way.

So here's to you:

Thank you so much for being there for me: catching me when I fall, and trusting me to do what I need to do. I can never thank you enough for reminding me to enjoy my life, and to have your support in everything I do. I am so fortunate to have all you in my life. You keep me sane, give advice, and remind to smile. You laugh with me and help me learn from my mistakes, but most of all you are here for me. That itself makes me feel like I am the luckiest girl alive.

love, bear

 I need to get this song, so on days like this I can just listen to it on repeat. I actually like the music video though.

Is it too early...

... for a New Year's resolution that is. Two years ago I decided to go vegetarian and run a half marathon. I did both because until losing ten pounds or taking up pottery. These were little things I had to do everyday to ensure I stuck with my goal. 

My New Year's resolution this was to not eat fast food. Needless to say I failed at that. 

So for 2013 I want to do this: 

I was researching races, and this really got me. 

'If you want to succeed as much as you want to breathe, you will be successful.'

Those words really stuck. Not only do I want to be successful in my life, but physically I want to challenge myself. This will surely be a challenge. 

I want to use this blog as a way to track my training. I want to have the people I love hold me accountable for my actions, and to be able to call me out should I let my training slip. 

I think this is it. It's time to get serious. I hope that my determination in the physical aspect of my life will help me mentally as well. 

Only time will tell.

love, bear

I now have two puppies

You all know Kelsey: my family's adorable, annoying, and incredibly old yellow labrador.

Here she is doing what she does best: lounging around the house.

But perhaps you haven't heard my family has rescued a new puppy.

He is a 3-4 year old terrier mix, and my parents have decided to name him Jack Daniels, after the Tennessee whiskey.

This is not a joke.

I haven't met him yet, but I am told he loves car rides.

Jack was rescued from a puppy mill where he was a stud dog, and spent most of his life in a cage.

I personally don't think he could've been adopted by a more loving family.

I can't wait to go home and see both my puppies :)

I only have four more classes and one test until I am done with accounting, and I have already made my $2000 to get in state tuition.

All that's left for me to do is to get my Missouri license and go to the office and make it official. Then I will be an official Missouri resident in the eyes of the University of Missouri, though I will always call Chicago my home.

I really don't have much else to say, but I would like to share this long quote with everyone. I stumbled across it today, and I thought it was very lifting.

‎"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou


Well I actually have a long day ahead of me. After all how does one fit homework, Magic Mike, and pool time in one day.

Love, bear

P.S. I realize that my last post was about how Kelsey was going to be put down, but as you can see that is not the case. She is still a puppy at heart, and has made a recovery from her fall.

Shocking News

I just recently got some sad news. Kelsey, my dog of thirteen years is going to be put down with in the next few weeks. Now, I'm not a very emotional person, and it is very seldom I cry. It is almost unheard of me crying in public, but that's what happened.

I called my dad today after reading a text asking me to. Little did I know what he had to tell, so I called him on my break. As he told me the news I felt myself holding back tears. To everyone else it might seem like I never liked my dog, but the truth is I love Kelsey. I love her and hate her at the same time.

I am going to miss her ruining my black outfits.

I am going to miss the nights I spent cuddling her and taking care of her because I couldn't sleep.

I am going to miss taking her to dog park.

I am going to miss brushing her.

I am going to miss taking her on walks and runs.

I am really going to miss everything about her.

I remember convincing my parents we should have a dog; I even went as far as to say I would pick up the poop. Of course I have yet to pick up a single piece (at least from my backyard).

I'm not going to lie: Kelsey was a pain in the butt. But she was our pain in the butt, and the house won't be the same without her.

There won't be as much dog hair.

It will be completely empty when no one's home.

All of her things will be gone.

It will actually be silent.

A member of our family won't be there any more.

I dedicate this post to the my favorite little puppy. I can't wait to see you when I get home.

Love, bear